Manners Lesson

Manners Lesson

Gray beard walks in peace

Youths want to bully –

Painful manners taught

From an incident of yesterday's morning walk. There is not always strength in numbers and the old are not always weak. There are always surprises! Yet, I also failed by my response. Today my harmony is now restored.

BUSHIDO LESSON: ON ONE'S OWN DEATH

On One's Own Death

One who follows Bushido believes that it is of prime importance to keep their death in mind at all times. This means every day, every night: from New Year’s Day morning until New Year’s Eve night.

If one keeps their own death in mind at all times, and by this I mean an awareness or consciousness of ones own death (but not to the point of obsession) one will always be able to fulfill the needs of loyalty and family duties. With this “consciousness” one can also then avoid a myriad of evils, calamities, and hardships. One is likely to be more physically sound and healthy; thus, they may actually have a longer life. An additional benefit is likely to be that one’s character will improve and they will grow in virtue.
You may well ask, “Why?” All life, including human life, can be likened to the evening dew or to a morning frost; that is, life is something that is indeed quite fragile and ephemeral. This is true of anyone’s life, no matter what his or her station in life may be.
If a person blinds themselves to the inevitability of their own death, that is, if they take comfort in the belief that they will live a long time, that they will live “forever,” it may indeed be possible that something will happen to them. They may think that they have “forever” to do their work and to take care of their families. Because of this belief that “tomorrow will never come,” they may well feel that it is not necessary to work hard or to tend to their families with less care and intensity.

If one realizes that the life that is here today may not be here tomorrow, then when one is given a task by their employers or when they look at their families, they may have the sense to realize that “this could be the last time.” In doing so, one cannot help but to become more attentive to their work and to their family.

Be that as it may, if one unmindful of death and thus becomes careless or inattentive, they will have a tendency to be less cautious and careful in their lives. For example, one may be more inclined to say something that is offensive to another and get into an argument, which could itself lead to any number of consequences. One might find themselves in places or in situations that they perhaps would not have otherwise gotten into, again with any number of consequences for themselves or for those around them or for their employer, parents, siblings, or children. The consequences of our actions can have far reaching results sometimes, results that perhaps should have been easily avoided, had one kept in mind their own mortality.

With one’s own transience in mind, when one speaks and in replying to what is said by others, one is more likely to understand the substance and significance of every word. One will be less likely then to engage in pointless arguments.

People from all economic and social groups tend to excess, that is, they overeat, they tend to drink too much, and they indulge in their desires to a harmful degree, all because they give not even a small thought about their own death. This kind of behavior, this kind of “lifestyle,” over time can put a strain on their bodies. As a result, there is every possibility of their dying at a younger age or at the least, becoming sickly and weak. With the potential of one’s own death in mind, even if one is young and healthy, they will automatically know how to take care of themselves. They will be moderate and be mindful of food and drink, avoid addictions, and are more likely to be more sensible. The result is that they will tend to remain healthy and to increase the opportunity for a longer life.

On the assumption that one will “live forever” or that their passing is so far into the future so as to not be worth consideration, one will be likely to develop a money-oriented or acquisitive mentality. That is to say, they will have a tendency to become more desirous of things, cling to their possessions, and to desire more. When one realizes that life may be very short indeed, greediness, acquisitiveness, and materialism weakens and thus the character improves.

How does one keep death in mind? Well, certainly it is illogical and therefore wrong for one to simply sit there and wait for death, or for one to become obsessed with it. This may be all well and good for a monk but with such a mindset, one cannot function or survive in the modern world. To regard one’s death in that way is to turn one’s back on their duties to themselves, their families and to their employers and it defeats the entire purpose of thinking about it at all.

The idea is for one to go about their duties every day, and at some time when their mind is free of distraction, to give some thought to the transience of their existence. Perhaps, in the morning, before going out and about they duties is a good time to give thought to this matter, for the thought of life’s fragility will stay in their mind for the entire day. Perhaps also at night, before retiring, is another good time for such thoughts. Think about the day just past and recall everything that ha happened. Ask yourself questions.

“Did I do well today?” The answer will be either “yes” or “no.” “If I have another day to live, can I do better?” The answer will always be “yes.” And as your eyes close at the end of that day, take that thought with you and bring it on to the next.

BUSHIDO LESSON: RIGHT AND

RIGHT AND WRONG

As long as it is both realized as well as accepted that people must comprehend right and wrong, and in doing so strive to do right and to avoid wrong, then Bushido is alive.

“Right and wrong” means the same as “good and evil.” Right is good, wrong is evil. It is that simple. Generally, people are not totally lacking in an understanding of good and evil, right and wrong; however, they find it rather boring and tedious to act rightly and to strive for decency and integrity. Acting wrongly and behaving badly is “fun” and it is familiar (it seems more so now than in earlier days) so people can drift toward things that are wrong and bad. Indeed, it becomes rather dull for them to do right and to cultivate good.

A person who is truly insane, or a person who has never developed a proper capacity for thought and reason cannot distinguish good and bad or right and wrong so they should not be included in this discussion. Once one has determined something to be wrong or bad, to avoid social demands and justice and do what is wrong is not the proper attitude for a follower of Bushido and it is the “high point” of the immaturity of our modern times. This can be attributed to a lack of inner strength and perseverance in people.

It is really and truly important for one to be aware of wrong and to seek right.

There are three ways of doing right. For example, suppose you are going somewhere with a friend who has a large sum of money with him, and he asks to leave it at your house until he returns, rather than carry it with him. And suppose you take this money for him and put it away where no one can find it. And suppose further that your friend suddenly dies and no one but yourself knows that he left the money at your house and no one knows that you have it.

Under these circumstances, if you have no thought other than sorrow at the loss of your friend and you tell his relatives of the money and give it to them without delay, then you can be said to have truly done right.

But, suppose also that instead of being a friend, the person was simply a casual acquaintance and no one knows about the money he left with you and there are likely to be no questions asked about it. And suppose further that you are in bad circumstances financially yourself at that time. Well, on one hand this might seem like a stroke of luck! Why not just keep quiet about it and keep the money for yourself?

If one finds themfself ashamed to find such a thought occurring to them, and they change their mind and return the money to the rightful heirs, then one could be said to have done right out of a sense of shame.

Now, suppose that someone in your home, perhaps your wife or child, knows about the money and suppose further that you return the money to the rightful heirs out of shame for any possible recriminations from your family and perhaps out of fear for the legal consequences. In this case you could be said to have done right out of shame in relation to others.

Ah, but what would you do if no one knew about it at all? Even in such a case, it could still hardly be said that you were not a man who knew what is right and does it.

The process of developing the habit of doing right begins with the fear of being disrespected by those close to you, starting with your family. It then advances to refraining from doing wrong and intentionally doing the right thing out of fear of laying yourself open to the shame of being criticized and ridiculed by the community or society you live in. If you do this, it will naturally become habitual, so eventually you develop a mentality that prefers to follow what is right and scorns doing wrong.

Within the context of military matters (which might be seen as a metaphor for modern business life) there are those who are born brave and are not deterred by attacks on the battlefield, no matter how intense. They make targets of themselves, framed between loyalty and duty. The courage of their spirit can show physically so that it goes without saying that they were splendid in action.

There are also those who are hesitant in the face of danger and their hearts are pounding and their knees tremble, yet they go forward, right along with the brave ones, in the realization that their comrades will see them if they remain behind and thus are determined not to expose themselves to derision later on. Although they are not the same as the “brave ones”, when they have gone through this several times, over and over again, they become used to it. Eventually their minds settle and they become praiseworthy, strong and firm, and in the end, not so different at all from those who are naturally brave.

So then, when it comes down to doing what is right and to being courageous, there is nothing to go on but a sense of shame. If you do wrong and are unconcerned for its consequences or that people will say it is wrong, or if you care nothing that people will despise your for your spinelessness, then there is nothing that anyone can teach you.

A LESSON IN BUSHIDO: OUR DUTIES TO OUR PARTENTS, PART II

Our Duties To Our Parents, Part II

When a person who has embraced the spirit of Bushido takes on an employer; that is, he becomes an employee of a person or company, he will understand the requirements of loyalty and of duty in that position. When such a person’s employer or business is successful and perhaps even thriving, that is taken for granted. It should also be so that when something happens to his employer or company (perhaps there are all sorts of serious problems) that person is still fiercely loyal and does not leave his employer, even when 100 co-workers, or friends and associates of the employer are reduced to ten and then perhaps even to one,

Parents and employers, duty to family and loyalty to employer – these things differ in name only. There truly should be no difference in the genuineness of the heart. It was said long ago, “ Look for loyal ministers in homes with filial sons.” There is no such thing as someone who is on one hand disrespectful to his parents and yet on the other, is faithful to his employer. It cannot be. If someone is so immature as to be neglectful in care and respect for his family, who are the very origin of his or her existence, there is no way that he can be moved by the kindness of an employer, who is not his own flesh and blood, and be completely loyal.

If a man who is not caring toward his parents at home goes out and goes to work for someone, he will keep his eyes on his employer’s balance sheet and as soon as he sees a little slip, his attitude will change. In an emergency, he will flee or turn traitor. It has always been so and yet, this is something to be ashamed of and something that we all must be wary of.

A Lesson In Bushido: Our Duties to Our Parent, Part I.

A Lesson in Bushido

Our Duties to Our Parents, Part I

05.16.06.

For a person who follows Bushido, the taking good care of one’s parents is fundamental. If people do not care for their parents, they are lacking in principle, even if they are exceptionally smart, talented, well spoken, and good looking. That is to say, a person may have many of the blessings and gifts of life, but if that person does not take care of their parents, all that amounts to nothing.

Allow me to explain. In Bushido, it is essential to do things right and to do things completely: from the root to the branch so to speak. If one does not understand the principle of the root and the branch, then they cannot truly understand their duties in life; furthermore, one who does not know his duty cannot consider themselves followers of Bushido even in a modern context.
To begin to understand the principle of the root and the branch, one might consider going to a garden, any garden, and looking carefully at what can be found there. Then one should think deeply about what one sees. Understanding the principle of the root and the branch means understanding that our parents are the roots of our bodies. Our bodies are the branches, in the form of flesh and bones, of our parents. In a modern world, it is because of our desire to establish ourselves in our careers, and in society, acquiring status and material things, that we tend to neglect our parents, who are the roots. Further, if we think about it, no plant, though it may have strong and deep roots, can long survive if there are no branches and leaves. We move away from our parents, to other cities or towns, in pursuit of “things” and leave our parents behind, only to see or hear from us on rare occasions. When we have children (our parents grandchildren, who may be thought of as the leaves), we tend to keep them separated also. This is not a good thing and shows a lack of understanding for “roots and branches.”

There are two basic ways of taking good care of our parents.

Let us presume that there are parents who are kind, considerate, and of a mild temperament and character, who have educated their children with real kindness and affection and who have provided well for their children. Normally, it should be most easy for us to do our duties to such parents and it would just come naturally and be worthy of no particular praise. Yet, many of us are guilty of not giving our kind parents the thought and care they deserve. So in this modern world, the performance of such duties is worthy indeed of praise.
Remember that even with strangers, when they have treated us with kindness or have helped us out personally, we tend not to overlook it – if they, in turn, become in need of something we can do or provide for them, we are willing even to set aside our own affairs to see to it. How much less could we ever expect to think that we have done enough to care for our parents, in view of the depth of the love that they have shown us in every way! Therefore, to take care of our parents is our duty!

But suppose that we have parents who re or were cranky, argumentative, intrusive, bossy, inconsiderate, demanding or who interfere our daily lives, or who complain to others how troubled they are by the poor treatment that they get from their children; thus, damaging the reputation of those children. To honor such unreasonable parents as parents and to take the trouble to humor them, to praise them, to lament their aging, and to take care of them in a sincere manner, without negligence, this is truly noteworthy and of praise and something we should strive for. It is our duty as children. It is the duty of leaves to take care of the roots, no matter what.

Next Time: How our care for our parents reflects on the rest of our lives.