A Lesson In Bushido: Our Duties to Our Parent, Part I.

A Lesson in Bushido

Our Duties to Our Parents, Part I

05.16.06.

For a person who follows Bushido, the taking good care of one’s parents is fundamental. If people do not care for their parents, they are lacking in principle, even if they are exceptionally smart, talented, well spoken, and good looking. That is to say, a person may have many of the blessings and gifts of life, but if that person does not take care of their parents, all that amounts to nothing.

Allow me to explain. In Bushido, it is essential to do things right and to do things completely: from the root to the branch so to speak. If one does not understand the principle of the root and the branch, then they cannot truly understand their duties in life; furthermore, one who does not know his duty cannot consider themselves followers of Bushido even in a modern context.
To begin to understand the principle of the root and the branch, one might consider going to a garden, any garden, and looking carefully at what can be found there. Then one should think deeply about what one sees. Understanding the principle of the root and the branch means understanding that our parents are the roots of our bodies. Our bodies are the branches, in the form of flesh and bones, of our parents. In a modern world, it is because of our desire to establish ourselves in our careers, and in society, acquiring status and material things, that we tend to neglect our parents, who are the roots. Further, if we think about it, no plant, though it may have strong and deep roots, can long survive if there are no branches and leaves. We move away from our parents, to other cities or towns, in pursuit of “things” and leave our parents behind, only to see or hear from us on rare occasions. When we have children (our parents grandchildren, who may be thought of as the leaves), we tend to keep them separated also. This is not a good thing and shows a lack of understanding for “roots and branches.”

There are two basic ways of taking good care of our parents.

Let us presume that there are parents who are kind, considerate, and of a mild temperament and character, who have educated their children with real kindness and affection and who have provided well for their children. Normally, it should be most easy for us to do our duties to such parents and it would just come naturally and be worthy of no particular praise. Yet, many of us are guilty of not giving our kind parents the thought and care they deserve. So in this modern world, the performance of such duties is worthy indeed of praise.
Remember that even with strangers, when they have treated us with kindness or have helped us out personally, we tend not to overlook it – if they, in turn, become in need of something we can do or provide for them, we are willing even to set aside our own affairs to see to it. How much less could we ever expect to think that we have done enough to care for our parents, in view of the depth of the love that they have shown us in every way! Therefore, to take care of our parents is our duty!

But suppose that we have parents who re or were cranky, argumentative, intrusive, bossy, inconsiderate, demanding or who interfere our daily lives, or who complain to others how troubled they are by the poor treatment that they get from their children; thus, damaging the reputation of those children. To honor such unreasonable parents as parents and to take the trouble to humor them, to praise them, to lament their aging, and to take care of them in a sincere manner, without negligence, this is truly noteworthy and of praise and something we should strive for. It is our duty as children. It is the duty of leaves to take care of the roots, no matter what.

Next Time: How our care for our parents reflects on the rest of our lives.